I met you when I’m in the worst time, the time when they chose to abandon me. I met you when I did not believe in my self and chose to hide in my cave to ignore people. I met you when I’m ready to run away because I know there’s no reason for me to stay. People said you’re not a good influence on me and threw dirt on your name. But for me, you were one of the reasons I choose to change.

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People thought I brought you back from the dark, but it was the other way around. You’re the light who guide me out from the dark cave. You’re the one who told me I need to be strong for myself. You’re the one who taught me to learn and make myself better. You’re the one who told me it’s okay to make a mistake because nobody is perfect. You help me find my confidence while I was busy hiding in my blanket. You showed me life is not always about “their happiness” but I need to prioritize “my happiness”. You made me learn more about myself and help me becomes Ms Independent.

Although I feel grateful to meet you, I regretted that special bond between us. The special bond that trapped us in a bigger problem. The distance between us makes me realize you were a special person that happened in my life. I’m sorry I gave you dramas and many trouble, I was too childish back then. I’m sorry I made you gave all your time for me, I was lonely and needy that time. I’m sorry I made people have a bad thought about you, I was selfish back then. I hope you won’t see me as a disaster in your life.

img_9312I miss you. I miss that late-night discussion we had. I miss that random talk about life. I miss all that argumentation with you and I miss your presence. I miss you and will always miss you. But I won’t ask you back or blaming you for the things between us. I understand and apologize for what I did to your life, especially forced you to deal with all my mess. I’ve seen you came and passed in my life not to complete my life but to help me heal and grow. I’m thankful to have you once as one of the chapters in my journey. Because of you, I have a chance to treat myself better. That day I made the right decision to let you go, sometimes it is better to let go than to hold on.


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